Thanks everyone for the comments and hugs. I appreciate that.

@Open Eyes: I didn't write the letter to send it to them. I just wanted to write what I would say to them, although I tried several times to hint it, but I was faced by denial and rage from their side. I do think many of my issues today, including my social isolation, are because of the way they raised me. I have this fear of being criticized and ridiculed all the time. I have very low self-esteem and high anxiety. I learned to keep silent all the time because I was punished when I did or spoke something.

I do believe my parents, probably out of ignorance and/or because of the way they were raised, didn't realize the emotional aspect of raising a child. My father was raised poor, and all he wanted for us is not to be poor. He cared about money and study more than anything else, including my life when he wished I was dead because I didn't measure to his expectations. My mother was just there for cooking and cleaning. I don't remember them talking to us and teaching us without the belt or without yelling at or ridiculed us. My mother was cursing us all the time. They were saying they loved us by their lips, but I (and my siblings) have never felt it. They communicated what they thought as love in a very materialistic way, which needless to say, means nothing in the absence of emotional love.

My life was easier than many people financially, and I'm grateful for that. That's why I feel guilty when I try to leave them out of my life, especially now they are getting old. But at the same time, I feel all my life has been ruined. I don't feel I'm living. I don't have friends. I live completely isolated. My peers who were less fortunate than me when younger now have families, stable and very good jobs, have cars, houses, travel all over the world, have kids, ... etc.

I realize that I need to take responsibility of my life, but I think they clipped my wings so to speak. They buried my spontaneity and freedom to form my personality/character and to explore my passions in life.