I'm still picking myself up from what feels like a proverbial beating that life has given me.. I'm not in a good frame of mind for logical thoughts. I'll try and sort out the doctors soon but the energy required to pick up the phone is tremendous.. What if they're trying to tell me that I'm right, that I'm not really worth the battle, and to feel better and to function and to live again.. If they are, why should I keep doing this to myself