I had the last session quite a bit ago now. I was in bored and aloof mode then and had been for a long time. Almost as I stepped out of the office the happy childlike me took over. I do not prefer one over the other because when I am inside the ego state it always feels like the real me. But this time was different it was a relief to change. It is like I do not have all those responsibilities anymore. First thing I did was go play on the ice. The bored aloof mode was gone.

I am not sure what happens now. I went to therapy and none of my ego states became more responsible and adult. I think I tried. I had homework and did it all. I am unsure what my next move should be. Right now I just want to play in the snow.

Jo is sort of fading in and out of me like some kind of ghost. He cannot be seen because he is pretend but it is like he became more transparent. Odd is gone. I think it has been months. I do not want to call on him but also I feel even if I did he would not come. Jostein helped me cook a proper meal yesterday and I have leftovers. That is really nice. Part from therapy homework I ate instant noodles the most and fruit.

I have nothing to say because nothing is happening. But I am still reading hete sometimes.