I know what I went through as a kid was extreme prolonged abuse.I know it was very disturbing disgusting and horrible.I don't compare it to other peoples abuse I don't wonder if it was bad or extreme because I already know it was.I don't wonder if it was as bad as anyone else's .Worrying if it measures up is not something I ever think about.My story is so bad I wouldn't share it with anyone but my therapist because it is so disturbing.That's not what I am trying to say here.

What I am trying to say is it's just hard to grasp that I went through all of that yet I am here and I survived it and I am high functioning.I live a pretty normal life,I have kids and pets and live in a house and from the outside nobody would ever even guess that I went through what I did.Just the same as when I was a kid we probably looked like the perfect family,it's the same now.

So it's just hard to grasp that it did happen to me.That I am one of those people.It just seems too enormous to accept.Too enormous to even believe almost.

I don't know if I am explaining myself right or not.I know all my memories are real and I know all those things happened but I guess I just think wow how am I ok?