Went to an AA meeting tonight....and being a lot of strangers there....our anxiety and fear sky rocketed like usual....so we didn't say a word so not to be noticed.

And once again we were switching so hard that like usual the meeting was spliced and diced that it made no sense. Time flew not remembering the beginning of a sentence or how it ended.

DR kept making it not feel real which then triggered DP as I sat in the back of my head watching.

Right now I know that we was there....but can't picture it let alone describe anything.

We just can't stop....we'll eventually stitch something together when we keep going back.

People freak me out, especially if they are looking or listening. When we speak...it's just a collage that barely makes sense to me let alone them...its a very embarrassing moment so much that our anxiety spikes even more to panic attacks. Sometimes I have no idea what was said earlier by us for a topic in the same sentence or mid talk. Even just thinking of saying 'hi' causes adverse body reactions.

It's so hard to do grounding when one is spinning on a merry go round or top.

This is night 3 without alcohol...so we need an evening distraction with sober people which is AA at least.