Ya know, contemplation is a good thing sometimes. It could be a safe place to be quiet and safe and cared for. My heart hears your distress and desire to be heard and cared for. I dunno. For me, it would be scary and I would be apprehensive about it because I would not be in control and in charge of things. Things, as in meaning what I had to make happen for me to be ok and everything to be alright.

A distant friend, last year, offered me a plane ticket and a week at a cabin that she and her husband have in Colorado. She said that she wanted me to be there with her and feel what it felt like to be valued and taken care of. Everything inside of me wanted to say "yes!" but I didn't feel like I was that kind of person or that I deserved it. I made excuses about my family, which were basically true, because that is who I am - if that makes sense. There is a part of me that so wanted to go, but another part of me just knew it wasn't something I could do.

I'm rambling. Sorry!!

Think about it. Think about what is good for YOU. What would help you feel better, even with the fear involved. What would be good for you?