That sounds like a really tough situation to be in. I am not from the US so I don't know where you can get support without insurance. Being a Mum of four young children must be all-consuming. Do you geTt any time to yourself to recharge? Mixed states are awful. Do you think you are in urgent need of medical support right now? Are you safe? Keep posting here, everyone is really supportive. That may help a little. Glad you dropped back in.