Well I hired a lawyer on Nov 3rd, 2015. I told him what we were dealing with that same day and asked if he had experience with high conflict resolution people, and even if so, this was far beyond that. This would be a fight to the death for him to make sure I had nothing, as I should because why would he owe me anything. He’s invested enough already and hasn't gotten his money's worth in return. Now that I can serve no purpose to him, he feels he's wasted what he has spent. Never mind we went to his Sr Prom together….lived together for 28 yrs and been married for 22 (at that point 11/2015). Even in the audio I had, and it's bad but I didn't even record it for evidence, I recorded a one week period in our lives to hopefully get him to listen to himself and change and it's 9 different audios that are horribly abusive…he even says in a cpl of the audios that he will “"burn it all to the ground” before I get a dime. Luckily, like you, I live in a community property state, as well. (Texas) Luckily, I thought. The first thing I told my lawyer was that we probably should call Fidelity, the 401k company and make sure that was safe. Around February, after he had yet to turn in any discovery and had unacceptable answers to the petition, which that each question he was supposed to answer was “"too vague” or info was held by a 3rd party….yes, the bank has your info and you get it from them. Also, for the last 5 years I had tried to save every dime I could because his M.O. Was to take the money, keys, cards, and then throw all my clothes out and tell me to get my **** and leave….of course, at the same time, ensuring I couldn't…and I saved $20,000, IN CASH..that he found and took and now he's hiding!! I know….but he's on tape saying “"I'll never give u that 20,000…maybe, since neither of us are supposed to hide money in a marriage they will give me some of that or maybe not.but. Also, he hired so many prostitutes the last 3–4 years before it ended that there's no telling how much he spent on them….but there was one acct he opened in Texas with $7,500 and Dwindled it down with all cash withdrawals disapated that one….got rolled for almost $3,000 on his debit card one night in NOLA and it's in the bank records….plus he admits it on tape, actually tells me I ought to Thank him and to let him repeat that one more time, You ought to thank me for the prostitutes, because I didn't go out and get a real friend…im such a horrible person, I didn't thank him….ha…In February, after I'd begged for years for therapy, all of a sudden he begged for it….now I know he did that to prolong the discovery process….During the 4th session we were kicked out basically. We needed separate counseling first….with me needing abuse counseling on top of that!! Wow…4 sessions….he refused to sign a release for those records. In May, he left Tx for a job in Georgia and thought I would move to our home state of Alabama or even with him….he honestly had said for months before he left me, that I needed about 6 months on my own to learn appreciation again, so I know he wanted to punish me and then make me apologize and beg to come back, per usual. (sickening, I already know) This is when he cashed in the 401k and got the $54,000 check ($61,000 is what it was worth before taxes and fees and that's what I'm entitled to half of….plus the past 4 yrs it has earned over $20,000….it's stock divindends so I should be entitled to the “avg” of what it could have made this past year!!) and opened a new acct just for that money. He paid the 46,000 tax debt that he knew I was trying to get relieved of owing through innocent or injured spousal relief and one stipulation for me to even begin to qualify for that kind of relief from the IRS is that the debt can't be paid….the thing is that he hasn't actually filed the taxes yet and doesn't know my sister in law sent me pictures of the IRS letters where most of that $46,000 is shown as CREDITS right now, appearing as if he is trying to hold money there until the divorce is over!! They forged my signature on the last 4 years taxes and I have a picture of the other IRS letter that asks for original and not photocopied signatures! A letter was even mistakenly sent here from his tax Atty asking didn't he want to use the other $8,000 from the 54,000 to prepay 2016!!! I didn't even live with him that year!!! Now he's closed down 2 or 3 accts….I don't even know if he has any accts at the same bank….and opened at least 2 MORE now ones for a total of either 4 brand new or 5 brand new checking accts since May!! He also started reversing every payment I've made on credit cards and utility bills since May and car payments….all these I was making thru the business acct from Sept when he left until May when he moved and turned on me and I have a 15 year old son st home, who he's now….you guessed it, all of a sudden gonna waste some more money because he is trying to spend it all, trying to fight me for custody!! He's let his and my sons life ins lapse. I just got it 2 years ago so in my mind he's also wasted that $7,000 of marital funds on the ins that's been paid the past 2 years. (I got a large policy on him and it was almost $300 a month) Hes changed his filing status to single and zero. Those are all things that he wasn't supposed to do….oh and let auto and home ins lapse too but he's prob paid that by now. Yeah but my Atty says he'll have to acct for all of that, don't worry ….don't worry?? He's trying to spend it all. He took my authorization off the Chase cards I was living off of, in June and then called Chase and said I fraudulently obtained them after he moved….the truth is that he forgot those cards were coming and I certainly didn't remind him when he left and took everything out of my purse so I'd be destitute….even took the keys to the extra truck in the driveway and I was stranded for 2 weeks until I rented a car and finally bought one after borrowing the $5,000 down punt from my 86 yr old dad. He gave me a check for $200 in Dec 2015. 1500 in June, 2500 in July, 1500 in Sept that bounced….I ran it though again in Dec and it bounced again for “"Acct closed”!! After making $260,000 last year! But, my lawyer has called no one and I've begged him to call Chase and Fidelity. I begged him to file for an ex Parte hearing so we can freeze the accts. We've had one court date for temp orders on Nov 29th of 2016!! And he's supposed to pay 2200 a month temporarily. My lawyer knew how far I was behind and didn't even ask for arreare at all and I had met with him the week before and said it was imperative and that the Chase fraud be dropped because they actually took 2 months rent BACK from my landlord and I had to pay 4 months rent in a 30 day period Nov-Dec last year!!! But nothing….I think he feels comfortable with all tthe shenanigans that my husband is hanging himself and the abuse is so severe, but I'm not comfortable at all. In fact, I'm more nervous than ever, BECAUSE of my lawyer. I told him yeah, I may get a great settlement but it's going to be a piece of paper in my hand and that's all. Anyway, I think he's done more..like 18 out of 30 things he shouldn't but I swear to God I almost think I can sue my lawyer for malpractice for losing me money and never emailing one piece of paperwork ever to me, and avg time of responding to an email is 3–5 days and I didn't say answering an email because I can ask 1 or 6 questions and they usually will say they're trying to get a date as soon as they can, ignoring all questions or tell me something else I need to do. So, not only do they rarely ever answer a question but to not even aknowledge I've asked it. It feels like another form of abuse. I've even paid $18 for a texas lawyer to answer a question on Ask.com - What's Your Question? or one of those and he first hung he said was to take that check to the co Atty because it's illegal to write a bad check in Tx! I don't know what to do but I've got folders and folder and files and files and gone they bank statements to see what he's wasted the past several years because he is going to do that to me and he won't stop until he does every underhanded thing he can think of to win….it's not about settlements or compromises, it's winning and losing....and a war to the death in their mind! So, long story short...start out nasty and never try to compromise because you can bet your ***** he won't and You Are Certainly Not Alone! (And I didn't even start in about the ...way worse than mental, verbal, physical, emotional or financial abuse....the horrific sexual abuse after he'd put me on a pedestal from ages 16-25 and I was really in love and invested and had a 10 month old baby with him....and all those signs of "I've got me a strong man..he takes care of everything...didn't notice him cutting me off from people who would have been a support system for me, because he's a great judge of character you know...and jealous, he doesn't want anyone looking or talking to me, he must Really Love Me...I mean that's what a young girl thinks....you don't see those signs...and then one day...and I'll never forget it because it was my 25th birthday dinner and since our bday's are 2 days apart we celebrate together...he said if I didn't love him enough to do anything for him, we weren't meant to be together....so pick up a man in the next hr and let us demean and demorolize you for free as long as I want....well. His words were always "Let's Have Some Fun"...a phase that now gives me chills, it's so tainted by his voice...and the last 20 yrs became more and more miserable as more and more taboo/pushing the limits/I swear to God, things he had to hope I'd say No too in order to have asked them because he had to know that anyone would...and I thought I was the crazy one because he twisted and turned and put it all back on me!) whew! That's over!)