I'm so sorry you feel like this. I can relate a lot I don't show my true emotions around with other people, as well. It's scary. However, if you think they are true friends, I think you should talk with them about how you feel. If they are true friends, they will listen and accept you for what you are. If they don't.. well, maybe it wasn't such a good thing to have them around, right?

Have you tried a therapist?
Just know that we're here for you