you.. know... I do understand your postive outlook on life... and I respect it...

However, for me.... being "shattered" into alters... and missing time... and living my life thru my alters... for me that puts a "different" spin on things....

I believe... that if I could have gone thru the really terrible things that I have in life... and kept my mind as "one" and not shattered... well....life... my life.. would be mine... and not shared with all the alters.....

And perhaps... it is the degree of abuse and neglect... and the many.. many surgeries that I have endured... that
brings up my question for what would life be like without PTSD...the surgeries even extended my PTSD... they were life threatening... and scary.. and very painful

You see.... I have never once.... been allowed to experience life without alters... without PTSD... cause it started at such an early age..

Prior to this year.... I too was happy.. that I could always be there for everyone.. cause "hxlls bells"... like what haven't I been thru...in real life I can relate to just about anyone... and people sense that...

So again.... I think that it is a "nice" atitude... to have... my expeiences make the person I am today...

But... just once... for maybe a day... I would so love to experience life... undamaged... and as a "whole" person - not shattered into alters...and not have PTSD... so that one whole day... I could live "untriggered"....



for all with PTSD