You are too down on yourself. I also think that if you could write at one time and do art at one time, you still have those interests and skills. Please give yourself a break! Realize that you are depressed right now and you're very good at putting yourself down. So am I when I am depressed. I think you are creative and all you have to do is tiptoe back to your creativity and try to start seeing that you have many good things within your character. See a counselor if you can and work on getting out of the depression. We all live in pig sties sometimes in our lives. Some of us are not good at working. So what? Get back on your own side and stop putting yourself down! Best wishes to you! Big hug, too.