Hello Daisycat1: I'll just mention here that I'm an older person myself... possibly not all that different in age from your grandmother. My personal thinking, with regard to your post, is that emotional abuse is not so much at issue here. Yes... when you are in your grandmother's "line of fire", so to speak, you probably feel as though you're being abused. And rightly so from what you wrote.

But, in terms of what's going on with your grandmother, one consideration would be how long this type of behavior has been going on. If this is the way she has acted for years, perhaps she has some long-standing anger issues. Perhaps your grandmother has some mental health issues of her own. It hasn't been all that many years since mental health issues were things people simply didn't talk about. It was considered to be shameful to admit one struggled with any kind of mental illness. One simply buried one's struggles (if in fact one recognized them at all) & got on with one's life as best one could. That's what I did for decades.

I think we tend to imagine that as people age they mellow. But that isn't necessarily the case. In fact I think that may be more of a fantasy. The reality is that as people age they tend to become less tolerant, more cranky, less flexible, & more "thin-skinned". It becomes harder to control emotions one may have handled better when one was younger.

The other thing, though, is that I believe there is some thought that anger in older folks can sometimes be a precursor to Alzheimer's & dementia. Here's a link to some information on the Alzheimer's Association Caregiver Center website with regard to this. It may or may not be the answer. But perhaps it may help.

Aggression and Anger | Caregiver Center | Alzheimer's Association

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!