Hi EV,

I know how you feel, as I've been in therapy now for 2 years and nothing much has changed. My husband is worse to me, more cold and uncaring and feed up with my illness and my weight gain. I don't work anymore since last year when I got diagnosed correctly from Major Depression to Bipolar Disorder I, rapid cycling. I feel like a failure to everyone. I have time on my hands and I don't even go visit my mother who is 84 very often. I only call her on the phone everyday and that is a chore. The same story I hear every day about her conditions. I feel like a horrible daughter for doing and thinking that. I don't spend enough time with my 10 year old son and that makes me feel so guilty and depressed. I guess I almost covered it all that I feel I've failed at. Hell, I even failed at a suicide attempt. I guess I'm meant to stay here on earth just to suffer like everyone with BP illness.

I sure hope I didn't depress you more by my post. I'm supposed give hope and carry the light to another sufferer. Please forgive me for venting out.