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... I was raised to believe IQ/ability/performance were the most important because that was my dad's experience. I was never taught to socialize and I might have even been actively discouraged from it if I'm remembering correctly...
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I was raised like this exactly. My dad convinced me that education and money are the most important things in life, and that people are out there to get me, so I developed my personality around these beliefs.
Social skills are more desirable than technical/professional skills in all domains of life. This is because most people are sociable and thrive on social interactions.
I'm in the same boat, so, I don't really have a useful advice for you, except to focus on your dissertation for now.