@Fizzyo

That does sound like it could be useful. Is that therapy only available in the UK though? I've never heard of it (I'm in the US).

Upon further research, there's a US version of the Foundation, but there may not be any therapists in the current area I live who specialize in it.

For what it's worth, I do have at least one way to soothe myself. It tends to cause me shame though because it could be seen as abnormal or immature.

@Mr. Stranger
It's not like either of my parents really had social skills I could emulate either. We all kept to ourselves and our extended family (until my grandparents died and then I was separated from the extended family). I never really connected with my mother the way I was supposed to, but she had JUST lost a child when she became pregnant with me and I don't think she had the emotional support she needed going through all of that. She might have been pretty depressed when I was a baby. I know I probably would have been.

And my dad was not that nice. He hated people. He made that very clear. He also was a misogynist which was very difficult for me and it may have influenced my gender identity. They had lost my brother and my mom was unable to have any more children so they were stuck with a biological female child. I think I developed a lot of traditionally male personality traits (or maybe I really was born with them?) and interests in order to try to be a son. I don't see how I could have self-esteem when my biological sex is apparently inferior. Especially when we were routinely equated to animals.

But I may be getting way off topic, so I'll stop for now.