It's a way the "outside" world thinks and trys to organize what they "see" so they can deal with it more effectively/better. It's not actually "you" anymore than when you were in 4th grade, you were "only" a 4th grader or that that designation described you forever. Even in 4th grade you were better at some things (for me, English and History :-) and worse at others, etc. The borderline diagnosis is a bit like that, kind of says "well, we see some of these things and you might like to work on them to be a happier, more comfortable individual" and other parts aren't there.

Randomly pick one description, say #8 and look at your response, which was only your response this evening, not necessarily your response tomorrow or last week. You don't fight (but lots of guys might, if you think about it; you're like me though and internalize things instead of externalizing) but you do admit to being angry "at random" and that causes you to cut to try to help yourself deal with not knowing what to do with it. Well, therapy can help you learn what to do with it and how to recognize the "random" and stop it before it gets out of hand. Again, there's nothing "bad" or punitive about this description, it's just a means for those who would like to help to try to "understand" in a literal way. Think of it like a placement test you take; there's nothing wrong with where you place, it's just helpful because then they can see if you might do better in X place or Y. You haven't won or lost anything of "yours", it's external.

What is "fun" in therapy is to suddenly hold, at the same time, an understanding of how you feel versus how those outside of you "see" you. Someone without these issues only has what they have seen, kind of like a male OB/gyn :-) They talk like they know what having a baby is like or menopause, PMS, etc. but. . . :-)

Don't ever be afraid of yourself! And anything coming from "outside" like a diagnosis is not "you". You know you and have been dealing with her quite well all these years :-) Sure, you'd love to get some "tips" and help with dealing with the uncomfortable feelings and things that don't seem to make sense, finding someone to "help" understand and see how to beat your way out of a wet paper bag (that's what I felt like I couldn't do) but making "friends" with yourself and studying yourself and getting comfortable with you from the inside is what it's all about.