I don't know if you do reddit... there is a sub r/raisedbynarcissists... not your situation, but they could point you in a direction or possibly help themselves... there's the concepts of no contact, low contact, etc. They can give ideas of what to expect in the beginning and such... my mom is narcissistic but I can't afford (financially) to get away. I feel trapped, and sort of am... I wish you luck, and hope for the best for you and your kids.