I'm so sorry you feel so blah about life. I have been there. When I was young and had small kids, of course I felt I had to stick around for them. I even made a pact with myself that when the youngest turned 18 I'd off myself. But I had another when she was 13, so put it off a few years. Then when he was almost an adult I had to have a major operation and the doc had concerns about my survival, and I found that I very much wanted to survive. It made me think (afterwards) about the difference between not wanting to be here versus wanting a pain free enjoyable life.(I.E. Not liking your life or circumstances does NOT equal wanting to die.) I do very much want to be here but minus the pain, etc. Life has ups and downs and for some of us the downs last a long time. At times it does feel like all we are doing is existing. But each day you wake up is a new chance for things to improve.

Don't give up on yourself. Even a tiny positive is huge to someone in depression. I wish I could give wiser advice, but this is it. lol
Be kind to yourself and be patient. I bet something will spark your passion sooner or later.