sunrise, this is the first time this issue of being afraid of nothing to say has came out this way.. i try very hard to be honest with him.. This was what caused me to think about it so hard.. that i knew i hadn't been honest but i didn't know what the honest answer would really have been until i wrote about it. It's that way with me.. and that much he knows. He knows i squirm, go off and think and write about it and then i give what i write to him.. and if i can, we talk about it. i am very guarded about myself in many ways, but i am honest with him.. i think even he is surprised by how honest i can be when i decide to say something.

i understand how you can be there a year and not bring something up. i bet most of us do.

he knows about this issue.. it's been brought up.. and i dare say he has been just letting me get there.