Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarter life
You have a dilemma with few long term solutions. The thing is that even if you have several allies that advocate for you, there will still be others with mob mentality who choose to believe the worst of you. I would hate to see you strive for acceptance only to be shot down by those who would prefer to see you fail. What you are hoping for is that these people who have undermined you do a complete turn around and admit that they were in the wrong....I promise you that this will never happen. Most peoples shame will prevent this...no one wants to admit that they were wrong.
As mentioned before , a permanent long term solution would be to leave. I know this sounds drastic and would take planning, will and tenacity of purpose....But starting fresh certainly has its benefits. I changed my name and career then moved to a different state to escape others perception of me...best choice I ever made.
I wrote a thread some time ago about making difficult choices, I hope it will assist you in deciding how to move forward. https://forums.psychcentral.com/step...0-choices.html
Please be kind to yourself cielpur...you will be amazed at what you can achieve. |
Thank you for your kind words QL. I will read your thread and come up with a financially realistic plan for myself. I just hate the thought of letting these a-holes run me out of town because they refuse to be decent towards me (which you are correct, they will never be). They do have that mob mentality and their own personal shames (whatever those are) prevent them from taking ownership of their horrible behavior. They just aren't capable.
I was involved with a creative group of people years ago and was successful. Well, one of the members didn't like it when people didn't shower them with adoration (which I refused to do). So, while I was in the hospital recovering from a terrible accident, this person spread vicious rumors about me to the entire group, most of whom believed this person. I only found out about what this person said, when a couple of the group members shared with me out of guilt (their words, not mine) what this person said about me. It worked to some extent. When I returned after my recovery, I was totally isolated socially and my participation in this group was diminished due to this person's social prowess (or manipulation of other weak personalities, if you look at it that way as I do). People who once liked me, considered me a good person and their friend, now pretended I didn't exist. I couldn't believe it. This person is still active and still has their "fans," or followers, and anyone who doesn't kiss this person's behind, is blackballed, so to speak. It's ridiculous.
If I were to move, there's no guarantee I wouldn't be confronted with the same kind of toxic personalities or emotional vampires as I like to call them, in a new town. Why should I cower? I have no allies left as I've been out of these communities for too long, but old resentments still exist (apparently) and I posted because I have anxiety about how to deal with these toxic people whom I know will try to 'take me down' no matter how much I ignore their attempts to do so. They will sabotage my participation in these communities to a certain extent, because that's the kind of people they are.
If I could move to another country I would, for a fresh start. But I can't. That is just not financially possible for me right now.