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Originally Posted by yanbut
Hello! I'm hoping someone with expertise and/or who suffers from pure o might be able to help me on this one.
I've read quite a bit on the condition, and from what I've read, obsessions with pure o tend to be highly disturbing, often very sexual or extreme or violent (although this is generally really uncharacteristic of the person).
What I want to know is this - is this always true? Does the obsession have to be extreme in this way? Can it be a bit milder but still quite distressing?
My reason for asking (I'd love to appear academic and aloof but apparently I'm too self-centred for that  ) is this: I got a diagnosis for anxiety recently and I'm convinced it's wrong. I've been so concerned that I'm not anxious enough, I've been looking up the condition over and over: blogs, forums, youtube, you name it. I feel like maybe I focused on the wrong things or I exaggerated, because I don't experience the physical symptoms of anxiety, I'm just a bit of a worrier. I went to the doctors' with a kind of self-diagnosed OCD, so maybe I'm just too obnoxious to accept a genuine professional opinion. But then, I look up OCD again too and maybe it doesn't really fit, and I do tend to come up with very mild symptoms in anxiety tests, so maybe I'm ok. Ok, so if I'm ok, cancel the follow-up appointment. But I won't do that either for some reason, and I end up reading more and more resources. I also feel like I'm acting like this on purpose, to "confirm" my supposed mental health issues. I suppose the crux of the issue is that I'm obsessing over the possibility that a) I'm faking it and b) I'm fine, both of which I find quite upsetting, even though "b)" should be a really good thing. No one wants a mental health issue. Except, apparently, me.
So, after some more reading today, I was wondering if this could be pure o (particularly as apparently it's often misdiagnosed as GAD - haha, look at my confirmation bias), but concerned by the fact that the obsession itself wouldn't be considered 'extreme' by an outsider (which further suggests I'm just trying to get any condition I can to fit my personality).
I know I'm going to have to put this to the doctor, but if anyone's got any thoughts, or has experienced anything similar, that would be great. Incidentally, the issue that drove me to my initial self-diagnosis was obsessing over my relationship, which has now vanished, to be replaced with this.
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I diagnosed myself with pure o for years only to come to realize that there is no such thing as "pure o". For most people that think they have pure o, they do actually have compulsions, although the compulsions are mental in nature and the physical ones are less obvious.
I would guarantee you have compulsions. You may not clean over and over or hand wash or do something very apparent, however you probably have compulsions. Compulsions are human nature to feel safe from the danger of anxiety.
My compulsions are mostly mental with many minor physical ones. When a thought happens I don't want, I will think of a movie scene or say something in my head or say start singing a song in my head. For my physical compulsions I will fidget my fingers, or bite down on my teeth or take a deep breath or any number of minor things nobody would pay much mind to but they ARE in fact compulsions.
Pay attention to how you react to unwanted thoughts.