I'm not even sure what to call this emotion I am now feeling, sad, lonely, detached, hopeless, lost... its 3am and I can't sleep. I have a very busy work week ahead of me and it's making me anxious that I'm not getting the rest I need.

I've been having trouble sleeping for the past week. I wake up at night with a deep feeling of sadness and loneliness. Worse yet is the fact that I have no reason to feel that way.

I have a very demanding job and each week I survive by thinking of being home with my family in the evenings and on weekends but once the weekends come I feel useless, like I'm wasting time. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I should do something with my kids but beyond the regular errands, stuff around the house, I don't know what to do. I feel like life is passing me by and I'm just waiting for it to do so. I don't know if I'm just tired from the week but when I reflect on how I spend my time at home, most of the time I feel half present at best, and mostly detached like I'm in my head. When I'm at work I want to be home and when I am home I want to be more productive. I just don't know how to relax without it feeling like I'm wasting time.

I hope this makes sense.
I just have this feeling of confusion about what I'm feeling and I want to cry. I don't feel in control but like I'm on auto pilot.

Thank you for reading, appreciate your thoughts and advice!