Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
We are not therapists. We are clients. We are not obliged to try and see their side of things. My students don't have to try to see my side of things if I don't do my job. They can if they want, but it's not required.
In some relationships, we should try to see the other person's side of things - family, partners, friends. But there's a limit even to that when a partner or a parent is abusive, or a friend stops returning phone calls. Likewise there are limits to what therapists should be allowed to get away with in relationships with their clients. And that's up to the individual client.
And I have to say, often therapists don't seem to try to see the client's side of things. OP seems to be doing all the see-the-other-person's-side here.
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I disagree 110%. You do realize a client-therapist relationship is the equivalent of dating somebody, right?
How is that relationship going to go if you don't understand the other person's perspective? It won't.
I'm not always a fan of listening to my therapist has to say about her life outside of her office, her approaches to helping clients or some of her past experiences. I mean, I'm the one who is paying for the service so the belief it shouldn't be about understanding what makes them human, what makes them tick, etc. but it is and I do it because I want to have a means to practice developing the relationship into something meaningful.
I submit to you the reason therapy doesn't work for some people is because they refuse - for whatever reason - to try and understand their provider.
And no, the OP HAS NOT made an attempt to see the other; although she admittedly say she has. Because doing so requires a conversation about the issue. Again, something along the lines of "Hey, I'm concerned about our progress these last couple of sessions. My husband mentioned (insert trauma here). Are you okay?" Or "Hey, is everything okay. I feel like something has been off with you lightly."