I would freak out if t1 cancelled. But there have been a few times over the years when he has told me that he is not at his best, leaving it open for me to cancel or reschedule. For me, I choose to stick with the schedule as much as possible, but I also avoid getting into hard stuff. I do think a t should tell client if they feel "off", and give the client an option of canceling w/o charge. Just saying that for me, t1 at 50% is better than no T1. But that has to do with me and attachment rather than T1. And he hasn't done it often-only when there have been deaths in his family.

I do understand the anxiety and confusion. I do that sometimes even when t1 is on his game. Now that you know that her being off was probably due to her loss, can you forgive her? Not as in saying that it was ok, but as in saying that you can offer grace? For me, forgiving is very freeing. It puts the fault where it belongs (them) and at the same time, stops giving it power over me.

And. Dating and T (and sex work!) are nothing alike. I don't pay people to date me. Nor for sex. I don't really agree that a t relationship is like a dr, but it is closer to that than to dating. My ts have power over me (my choice) in a way that a date would never have. My H holds some power in my marriage, and so do I. That is nothing like t either.

My H has been known to call T1 when H thinks T1 has messed up. It's probably had the effect of making T1 feel pressure to get things right. I don't know if that's a good thing in your situation, but it is kind of sweet that your H doesn't think your t is doing things right.

Sorry that session stunk. We've all had them, and I hate it when it happens to me.