Hi Zedsdead

Yes, absolutely remember this:
To me, it's just another game. Hes said this so many times. Every time iv tried to leave i hear this........ but the last 2 years have been terrible.
And I know it can be real hard to doubt yourself when he's behaving like.........maybe the person you wanted him to be underneath so often..........
And doubts like that can be natural, so you don't necessarily have to wonder.........just keep reminding yourself that "Yes, I am going to have those doubts BUT (and remind yourself of the bigger picture) AND I am doing exactly the right thing".
And you know that for some narcissists.........they can tell you exactly what you want to hear............but that doesn't need to mean that they feel it just as you might if you were to say the same thing to someone..........and you do know that he can be a very different person when/after you've got back with him.........every time.
And yes, you have shown great insight, just keep those boundaries in place, hey? And don't let him be talking to you for hours when it's supposed to be about the kids
Just let him know that if he's off topic, you are going to need to put the phone down and you'll talk to him about the kids when he's ready to do that (if you want to that is!!).

As for what the police can do, really sorry but I'm not familiar with the laws in yourcountry.........but just a guess........if you're asking him to leave when he comes and he's refusing maybe the police can act on trespass or harassment, or some sort of equivalents.........???
If it came to it I'm not sure if you could get a restraining order with conditions to allow for contact with the kids if you wanted if you were to report some of the things he has done........???
But hopefully someone from your country will post with some knowledge on that.

And again Zedsdead..........WELL DONE!!!!
Really glad you're feeling some of that "release"

Alison