When my son was 18 and my daughter 20, they ran away from home after a serious fight with their dad. H insisted that I never help them. They were gone more than a year and a half and refused to see their dad. It was completely stressful to be in the middle of that situation.
After my attempt they came home but have not "launched." My son got into the Navy's nuclear program which includes great training opportunities. Tonight we found out that my son (now 22) is going to ask to be released from his enlistment obligation tomorrow. Things escalated again. H asked him to leave tonight. I asked to give him more time, just two weeks. I know it was a last minute decision (meeting is tomorrow) because he just filed his taxes and interviewed for a 2nd job which he says got (it is only Walmart) today. It was a completely ugly scene between H and my son. H is unhappy I did not back him up more. When my son heard up fighting after, he said he is leaving in the morning. There is never harmony/love between all four of us. My whole marriage has been like this. It is only easy to get along with H when it is just the two of us.