Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyllya
Sorry your brother's a jerk 
As for the question, I'm not too sure there even is a very strong distinction. Your personality/character is part of your mental health, so a mental illness messes it up. It's like asking "is it a gastrointestinal disorder or a stomach flaw?"
But I guess you could say a mental illness is a more extreme version of a character flaw, and it's like a spectrum without a clear cut dividing line. How spacy do you have to be before it's ADHD? How sad do you have to be before it's a depressive disorder? How short do you have to be before it's Pathological Short Stature? How sleepy do you have to be before it's narcolepsy? The diagnostic criteria for those conditions defines the exact "cutoff." It's pretty subjective, unfortunately, but if you have been diagnosed, the professional who diagnosed you decided you were on the mentally ill side of the line.
According to psychology (not psychiatry?) the criteria for considering something a disorder or symptom of a disorder is that it fits all these criteria: - Maladaptive - it's bad for you.
- Unjustifiable - i.e. if you're feeling fearful when you're about to be mauled by a grizzly bear, that doesn't mean you have an anxiety disorder.
- Disturbing - it upsets you or someone else.
- Atypical - most people don't have the trait or don't have it as much.
It seems the DSM-IV (psychiatry) says this: "In DSM-IV, each of the mental disorders is conceptualized as a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual and that is associated with present distress (e.g., a painful symptom) or disability (i.e., impairment in one or more important areas of functioning) or with a significantly increased risk of suffering death, pain, disability, or an important loss of freedom. In addition, this syndrome or pattern must not be merely an expectable and culturally sanctioned response to a particular event, for example, the death of a loved one. Whatever its original cause, it must currently be considered a manifestation of a behavioral, psychological, or biological dysfunction in the individual. Neither deviant behavior (e.g., political, religious, or sexual) nor conflicts that are primarily between the individual and society are mental disorders unless the deviance or conflict is a symptom of a dysfunction in the individual, as described above." |
I had an assessment by a psychiatrist last fall and he refused to give me a diagnosis. He said I was anxious and depressed because of circumstances i.e. unemployed, socially isolated, not great coping skills. He said I should get help to strengthen coping skills and see a counselor. My depression got worse and turned into suicidal ideation. I am not functioning very well.
My brother seemed to think I was just being mentally lazy and irresponsible and attention seeking. Since he cut me off I will never know what he meant. This is really what I hate about narcissists. They are not really interested in anyone and will not have a dialogue unless it somehow feeds their ego.
Since character flaw seems to be a loaded term I will just say that maybe I am weak in certain areas. My main problem that seems to have caused all problems is that after my divorce and being empty nested I have been kind of been forced to live alone. In the past I have lived alone never more than a year. This has been going on for several years and I have become more isolated.
I think I need to just force myself to change. Living alone is literally driving me crazy. This also seems to prove to me that I am mentally weak. If I need change I have to motivate myself to make change happen. No one is going to do it for me. When I was younger I could manage change much better than I do now. I even think I managed being single better when I was young. I have dated since the divorce but every guy seemed creepy on some level. Very sad but true as I was open to the idea of a new relationship. But I never met anyone. Also many guys my age were dating and marrying women 10 and 20 years younger. It seems to be a trend in my town. For the life of me I don't understand it. I mean when I was young I liked men my age.
My brother can go to hell with his judgmental attitude. I refrained from judging him and one could have a heyday attacking his lifestyle and values. But I am not into doing that. I mean it is so rude and what does it prove? Hurting people is just not needed.