I think an awful lot of therapists were trained to believe that clients, if given the chance, would call every minute of everyday, keeping the therapist tied up and unable to have a life or work or anything. There was this notion of "encouraging" dependency.

What has been shown to actually be true is that clients that know they have access to their therapist, don't call as much and aren't in crisis as much. Just knowing they can makes a huge difference. I love that my therapist believes in interdependency instead of forcing independence when the client isn't ready. He tells me a lot that I spent most of my life being super indendent and my job is to learn to let other people support and help me. It is so hard!

And I totally agree with you, Pink, that therapy has to be about taking risks. If you don't just say it...how can you process it and figure out what the underlying issues are. You are spending lots of time and energy and pain in this process, I think everyone owes it to themselves to push into the most honest places you can. The rewarding closeness is so worth it!

That said - it is very hard to talk about erotic feelings, even if you intellectually understand how normal it is to have them. I think you have been very brave to have shared so much. Have you found talking about things intensifies them or takes some of the urgency away?

Are you concerned at all that seeing him twice a week will make these feelings get even bigger?

I found when I increased sessions, I was less frantic about the connection I had with my therapist and that felt much better.