Hi DaX,

I can't deny that there can be those kinds of assumptions out there........that adopted means "sympathy" but, you know, it can go the other way too..........I'd say that sometimes people will come across that way because they feel it's expected of them, or out of "politeness", whereas some of those people may be secretly thinking to themselves "I wonder if my life could have been better if I was adopted......." or "I really wish I was adopted"...........I guess it's what you do/want to do with people's responses that can help shape their views about you, and it can, to a point, be your decision on how you want them to see you.
For some people you might want to just brush it off saying that "Yes, it's OK it's cool, I now have x sisters and brothers......." and then change the subject........for other people you might actually want them to know that........you wish you could have chosen who you were adopted by............share some of that......and hopefully, if they're the right people have that "sympathy" turn to empathy...........maybe.........

But if you were to adopt..........with the empathy and sensitivity you have........that child might not get the "sympathy" for that long , every chance some other children with their biological parents will be looking at them wishing they had had a parent like you

But don't come to adopting to spite your mother........you take the time to decide what's right for you, she has had more control in your life than she's ever had the right to have........so every opportunity you have try to release yourself from that control and live for you, in the way you deep down want to live...........whether that's adopting or not.........you don't need to prove anything to her, let your life be your own.........and we know that it IS possible to love a child who may not be technically "yours."and we know that you deserved that love........if she ever had any love to give that is

Alison