I know u are right. I guess I just blame my borderline traits on all of this, if i hadn't raged or yelled or threw things, he would have been more open and honest. He doesn't even need to shift blame, i take it all.
I know it takes two. But I blame myself almost entirely. The problems didn't start to get worse until after a few rages at him.
He is all too happy to not show he's that sorry and to place blame on me.
I wish I could have been calmer, maybe then he wouldn't have used money as an excuse to cheat and would have been more open. I keep feeling that way.