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*Laurie* · Mar 07, 2017, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prism Bunny

I get physical ill over the thought of someone close passing away because I have what they call Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder. What makes me fear it, even more, is the constant talk from my mother who truly believes she is dying or will die soon, despite any evidence of declining health outside of aging, and she tells me every chance she gets to give me advice on what to do when she passes away.

"Make sure to delay the 911 call, be sure to take my jewelry off, and grab all my belongings in my room before people try to take anything from you." I know it by heart now at this point.

But before everyone says their opinion, please read why she is like this:

Possible trigger:

My mother lost her husband, my step-father, three years ago when he had a major heart attack in the bathroom. He was never unhealthy, kept himself in shape, and was a sweet guy. He had been coughing all morning and said his chest was a bit on fire. My mother rushed from the bed to her husband when she heard loud thuds, and he was just laying there crumpled on the floor. He was gone before the medics arrived. He was 54 years old.

So, my mother wants to join him and be free from this life.

Thank you for anyone who read it.

It sounds like your mom has PTSD from her husband's sudden, traumatic death.

That said, it can get really stressful when a parent does to you what your mom is doing. My mom did the same thing to me, all of my life. She did have health problems, and she must have been terribly afraid of dying, but it was obsessive with her. She'd go over with me the steps to take when (not IF) she died, as though her death was imminent at any moment...over and over and over. Who I was supposed to call, what possessions to grab 'before anyone else got there', and so on and on. The strange thing was, she also threatened suicide fairly frequently. I guess she was obsessed with her own death, and it really scarred me with regard to my own mental health.

My mom went on about this stuff for 40 years. When she finally did die, I was sad, but it was almost a relief because at long last I didn't have to listen to her death-threats and 'if I die's' anymore. When she died, I could let all the 'if's' go.