In the one hour appt, I said as much as I could about the whole situation and what I want to achieve; which is whether I am ill and need therapy and meds to cope or if I can get support to get out of this and move on.

Looking through her notes from my one visit 7 years ago, she said I had 'emotional disregulation' or something like that.

When I told her other docs had diagnosed MDD and PTSD, she made a doubtful face and asked me what the PTSD was from. I gave her my dispassionate 'spiel' about my father's death, and told her that is what I told the psy when he said I have PTSD. And I told her that I didn't even think I had it from that. I said I really have it now from this struggle with my h. I told her how I developed SH out of such never-ending frustrating futility and his making promises he can't keep. She said "that sounds Borderline".

I said I'd come back every day to see her to get to the bottom of this. She said there is no getting to the bottom of this. And she said she's see me in 3-4 weeks! So, I made an appt for 3 weeks, wondering why she did that and what it meant.

I told her we see a marriage t together. She asked if he could call her to discuss. I said yes, and emailed him her info.

Then I drove home crying and stuffed Burger King down my throat, feeling horrible and broken, hoping it just gives me a heart attack and kills me.