Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
So if you could get him to say yes to you, what would that MEAN? Follow the fantasy and you can find the issue(s). Thats how i do.
That or drop him and work with t2. T1 and you are not a good therapeutic match. We need someone who can get close but keep their distance. T1 has that backwards somehow. My prev t was like that. Personal closeness, professional distance - bad. Professional closeness, personal distance - good; you feel you can trust them and yourself. Your inner child needs to feel safe, no matter what is happening to the outer woman!
Eta - my prev t was like, if youre not smart enough to make me stop hurting you, then i will keep hurting you and taking your money, why not? I think your t1 is doing this.
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What it would mean if he finally said yes would be that I am truly desirable and attractive--so much so that he wouldn't care about the rules. I want to feel THAT desirable and attractive that he just can't help himself.
But clearly he CAN help himself because he won't have a physical relationship with me. He's bad at therapy with me. It's just the way that he LOOKS at me and tells me that I fill him with desire and that he'd absolutely have wild passionate sex with me if it weren't against the rules that keeps me going back. I want to hear it over and over and over again. It makes me feel desirable and I have always felt undesirable. Even though my husband loves me and tells me I'm beautiful and sexy, I have an intense need to hear it from THIS MAN. THAT'S what I'm handing over all of my money and sanity for.