Innerzone- sorry life is sucking so much right now. I hope it gets better soon.
Regarding calming music, when I am fighting the urge to ram my car into a brick wall and smash **** and tell the universe to go **** itself, calm Music is the last thing that helps. Loud, angry music i can blast or scream along to at the top of my lungs, preferably with profanity and loud drums and crap, actually calms me down. It's like I am sort of able to drown out the the sound of my brain. Just an idea- Idk if that would help or hurt in your situation??

Anyway, hang in there.