Quote:
Originally Posted by ramonajones
What it would mean if he finally said yes would be that I am truly desirable and attractive--so much so that he wouldn't care about the rules. I want to feel THAT desirable and attractive that he just can't help himself.
But clearly he CAN help himself because he won't have a physical relationship with me. He's bad at therapy with me. It's just the way that he LOOKS at me and tells me that I fill him with desire and that he'd absolutely have wild passionate sex with me if it weren't against the rules that keeps me going back. I want to hear it over and over and over again. It makes me feel desirable and I have always felt undesirable. Even though my husband loves me and tells me I'm beautiful and sexy, I have an intense need to hear it from THIS MAN. THAT'S what I'm handing over all of my money and sanity for.
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Would it help at all to think he's protecting you by not having a physical relationship with you? I mean, he's already not acting ethically right now, in what he has said to you. And that's negatively affecting you.
For him to actually have physical relations with you would really cross a line. And it sounds like it's pretty much always damaging to clients, no matter how much the client think they would want it.
Spend some more time talking with T2 and do your best to avoid seeing T1. That's the best thing you can do for yourself. Because you just sound tortured right now...
