Ramona, you have a need to hit bottom. Nobody is going to stop you from going there. If i remember correctly, you are replaying your relationship with your father. You really want your father to see you as good, as special. Thats why t1 is so compelling. As skies said earlier, its not about sex per se. Its that WANTING to change their mind, to change how the story comes out, to change the ending, to make it come out right - thats what keeps us stuck. Usually we get stuck having bad relationships, getting involved with the same type of guy over and over. But getting stuck with a t shortens and quickens the loop, more money faster.