Dechan....I really feel for you as I have followed you ups and downs and your confidence and your despair and everything in between...

My situation was not as bad as yours is. However, your mental state is very familiar to me.

I though it would pass. I thought if I could just hang on another week, another month, another year, then I would be who I was before.
But I couldn't. I simply couldn't.

I wish I knew the answer. Or any part of an answer. It all seems so very unjust at this point in our lives...
People here are supportive, but they cannot truly help due to their own difficulties. A lot of the time in the depression section, all we can do is commiserate and sometimes that does more harm, I think....it's just sad to see so many people hurting..

This thought must go unfinished as I am in a bad way myself, but can we talk about what resources can help you? Can we try?