I can't even try and lie about how I feel. I feel like everything is going in circles and I'm stuck in a lost space for people who are left behind in the system. Nobody seems to get it or care except a few people. I'm just sick and tired of being dismissed by the system because of things. They act like I'm faking MI because I want something and it's not like that. I need help and everybody seems to think that it's a joke. Its not like that and it upsets me. I'm ready to say forget treatment and be done with this mess. Everybody tells me that I should keep trying or switch my team. Its not that simple. I can't just leave the team I have. Its hard getting into an ACTP team in my county. There aren't many openings in the programs. I can't just leave the program either. Its a treatment level where I live. Its like a step down from being hospitalized full time. I can't leave until I've fulfilled the requirements. Its really not the team that's the problem. Its just how part of them don't get MI except from a book standpoint. I just can't keep going like this.