Just as someone who has observed your posts over the past few months, I feel like you throw yourself into something and then if it doesn't work in a few weeks you abandon it and throw yourself into something else.

I am unsure how someone can be allergic to every single antidepressant? With someone whose depression is as longstanding as yours, medication is your ticket to a more normal life.

Vitamins and exercise aren't going to cure you. Neither will spiritual work or therapy unless you change your thinking pattern.

A way to get out of ruminating about yourself is to help someone by volunteering at a shelter or even Meals on Wheels. Having your attention on someone else and being able to help in a small way make someone else's life better immediately will make yours better.