Kinda spiralling. Taking 10mg of Abilify twice a day, and today I took 3 mg of Clonazepam just to be able to be calm enough to drive to my three appointments. First I saw my old pdoc as a goodbye/transition appointment. He was kind to me but still spouting crazy ideas about what is wrong with me. So glad to be able to have that relationship come to an end. Second I saw my Rheumatologist who helped me with my Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. He is a great guy, full of wisdom in various types of treatment.

Finally I saw my T who helped me sort through the recent rejection from my ex-husband, which i am taking quite well and the symptoms that have been plaguing me all week; hallucinations, high agitation, irritability, racing thoughts, reality not seeming right and an intense mood that can swing from happy to very dark. He calmed me down a bit and reassured me that I am not losing my mind. He gave me good tools to deal with the hallucinations and suggested I increase my Abilify dose today until i see my new pdoc tomorrow.

Nervous about seeing my new pdoc. Worried he will be a crackpot like the last few i have seen. He seemed nice last time I med him but i have lost trust. My T and i are hoping he will be able to correctly diagnose me and provide me treatment to get out of my current state. I need help as I am barely managing to keep up with my commitments. My mind is swerving all over the place. It is chaos in there. I can't concentrate for long. Writing these posts takes me forever as I get distracted and lose my train of thought.