In my experience the only way to deal with a cheating situation in a relationship is to cut it open, display it on the table and make sure both parties are completely aware of everything. What I couldn't get passed in my situation was not knowing whether the situation was cleaned out. I always felt like there was something still hidden, I always had to pry for knowledge and my partner was always hesitant about divulging information. I think they thought I was going to be upset about it but the closure is all I wanted. How can you deal with a situation when you aren't even sure you know the full deal? So providing you've come clean to your partner, does he know how you feel about the cheating? Does he know you feel such remorse? Does he know you're suicidal? If he truly loves you unconditionally then he will work through these things with you. He will strive to see you become the better person that he knows you can be, or else he wouldn't be with you. He's with you despite your faults because he can see the better person in you and it truly is up to you to take the reigns on that. He's given you the tools and you need to hone your skills with them.

As for the statement, "Whenever I really try to think about it though my mind goes blank because I think I really just don't want to accept I am the person I am."

Rubbish. People change. You're in control of moving yourself in any certain direction. It starts with decisions and ends with actions.

You don't need to accept this feeling of depression as the way you relationship will be. It will go nowhere if this is the case. The past has passed and if your partner is willing to put it behind him and move forwards then you need to do the same. It would be equally as detrimental if he were to have these feelings as well. You have to accept that you messed up and learn from your mistakes. Don't think of yourself as this horrible person who cheats or you are absolutely bound to do it again. I guarantee it, it is already your mindset, however, if you accept that you made a mistake in your relationship and that you will not make that mistake again and that you are not a cheater then you're pretty well set on the road to rejuvenation. You have to make the conscious decision to keep your hypersexuality in check. You have to accept that you did some bad things, you have to accept that you can move away from making those mistakes, and you have to accept that he has forgiven you.