this is difficult to phrase properly so forgive me if I do it poorly ... lets tackle this word hate and how we are using it ...

you say you "hate" being socially akward ... "hate " being depressed ... and that you "hate" yourself ...

I understand feeling upset by these issues ... I understand not wanting things to be as they are ... but none of these are your fault ... we all have to face the fact we are who we are ... some have strenghts ... some weaknesses ... you and I are individuals ... we are different from each other and from everyone else on this planet ... there is a place for all of us ... but no one can reach thier potential until they take a good look at themselves ... and like what they see .... the world is full of people who have done this and suceeded ... and full of people who spent their entire life feeling cheated or left out .... the difference between the two is there mind set ... how they accept themselves , warts and all , and use all there talents to there full potential ... and that is all any human can do ... the best they can , with what hand life has delt them ...

I am not saying life is easy for any of us ... and there are plenty of haters in this world ... but what we must never do is "hate " ourselves ... dissapointed .. ok ... upset ... ok ... sad .. ok ... but never hate ... you can never expect anyone to love you until you love yourself first ... that means forgiving yourself when you do not measure up to you internal yard stick ... to give yourself the "slack" you would to a friend ... be your own best friend ...

the last question I would ask is you say this has been worst during the last two weeks ... can you think of anything that may have changed to cause this ... why now ... what's different ...

I pray you find peace with yourself ... please write anytime ... Tigger.