No.. I've kept that locked away for a long, long time. It's only recently been coming back out and popping into my head at very inopportune moments.

I'e been off treatment for over a year as I had started lying to my doc about what i was feeling and how I was. In hindsight it was one of the stupidest idea's I've ever had.

I just wanted to be normal again, to live, to feel something and to be happy.

I'm seeing him Friday morning after landing myself in A&E again last night. I'm so scared about what's going to happen. He knows by now that i've been lying to him.