Thank you for what you said. It's hard to see good in yourself when you just feel this sad, bad, depressed, whatever word one would choose. I have always found myself to be a negative person, switching between love of myself and hatred. It's very black and white thinking I know. I have done CBT for anxiety, with one thing dealing with types of thinking. I know the material, but can't implement it.

Now, I can't say exactly why it started two weeks ago. Maybe part of it was the self-realization that I can't get into my university program, which controls my future. This could stem from my extreme stress with school and wanting (and needing) to do really well. Maybe it's possible to get what I want/need in one of classes, but I don't think I can for the other.

I also feel neglected by my friends more, feeling that no one really wants to hang out with me. I ask friends if they are free, and they seem to always be busy, but when other people ask, they are free. I feel that my friends don't trust me either. I have been friends with these people for years and they still don't talk to me really. My thoughts about this is that it's me that is causing this, but I've been told that I shouldn't always blame myself. But the evidence in my mind points that it's my fault and not them.

There aren't really any main reason I can think other than extreme stress and possibly anxiety. I feel like my life has turned for the worse.

Thank you Tigger.