A few weeks back, I was diagnosed with depression because of how I have been feeling the last few months. So the doctor prescribed sertraline 50mg. After a few days, I went from feeling really low to a sort of mellow feeling. I wasn’t great but not really bad either. This lasted for about 2 weeks then I crashed. I couldn’t do anything. I felt paralyzed and could barely get out of bed. I stopped going to Uni and going out in general. When I went to see the doctor for a follow up appointment on the same week, she said that it was serious depression so she increased my sertraline dose to 100mg. This was on a Friday, and when I woke up the next day I felt really anxious, agitated and my heart was racing. I couldn’t keep still and I was pacing around a lot. My thoughts were racing and I sometimes got twitches when I did keep still. I still felt really depressed and stayed in bed all day and didn’t want to see anyone. That night I couldn’t sleep and ended up giving up and staying awake all night. I finally slept for about 3 hours in the morning then woke up again. I still felt down but I had to attend a friends get together that evening. I really didn’t want to go but ended up going anyway. To my surprise, I had a really good time. There were drinks and weed so I got drunk but I had a lot of energy for the whole night even though I was on only 3 hours sleep. When I got home at around 6am I took a nytol and slept for roughly 6 hours. After this I stayed up 2 nights in a row, but during that time I was in a good mood and was pretty optimistic, talkative and social but still felt agitated and still couldn't really keep still. It’s the best I’ve felt in a while but I know its not right because I haven’t slept for 2 nights and my appetite has been bad since Saturday. I never felt like eating until I get hunger pains. I called the GP and a doctor told me to lower the dose back to 50mg and see what happens. I also saw a councillor yesterday at my Uni and she suggested I just use a nytol and go to sleep because I wasn’t really thinking clearly and I was tired ect. I then took a nytol in the afternoon and slept for 4 hours and I have been awake since then.

A lot of the symptoms I am having is making me think I have more than just depression. So I started researching and looking into bipolar disorder. I think some of the symptoms I am having maybe linked to hypomania and this may have been caused by the antidepressants. I have also been smoking weed more regularly as the depression got worse and this may also have had an effect.

I have had times in the past during the depression where I do feel better, more social and optimistic but I always end up crashing and spiralling back down. Could this constant up and down mean I have bipolar instead of just depression?