Hi, kinda newbie here. Have posted on and off depending on how things are. What I love about these site is the sense of community, you all care for each other no matter what is going on yourself. I've never stayed posting long enough to become a 'member' coz I've always felt unwelcome, I think thats myself not believing I deserve to be cared about which is fair enough, I understand. Its just nice to know I can talk about what scares me and it doesn't necessarily matter if anyone cares or even replies because it gets it out of me, I guess like when I bleed. Its removing the hate from me, thats a bit confuzzled but I hope you get the general gist. My story is odd, I guess its that I can't understand why I cut, I have a good job and am happy there. I haven't done anything for months but its like the pressure building up inside and the more time it is the more I feel I need to cut rather than feeling proud that I haven't done it. No one knows I do it, which I am happy with, I hate talking about it, the Internet makes it easier but I still feel like I am being judged or wasting peoples time. I think I am quite insecure, I am not happy with myself the way I am. I think cutting makes me feel different or...I don't know. Phew...