I'm sorry to hear things are not going well. I hate to even offer his as a probable reason for his moods but this sounds just like my husband when he went to Iraq. I wasn't with him then but he still has issues and it's been 11 years since he went over. He has mood swings, he has terrible ptsd. He has nightmares, addiction problems. I think your husband is confused and probably has ptsd but doesn't want to admit to it or he may not even realize it. It sounds like he has major depressive order as well and more than likely needs to be on meds or some sort of counseling. If you would like to keep your marriage maybe sit down on neutral terms and discuss (if he's willing, not everyone is) about what happened to him overseas. He needs help before you two can even fix your marriage.