Hello,

I want to write a little more here, to express these feelings which are quite difficult. Sometimes the resentment and judgements I feel toward her are so strong; I find it almost impossible to look her in the eye, or touch her. My mind just runs through the behaviours and habits of hers which bother me. It reminds me of growing up around my mum, when I'd find it almost impossible to talk, I'd be very withdrawn and resentful. I've looked online at the tendencies of emotional anorexia, and one of them is "frequent criticism of partner."

I'm keeping the criticism to myself, scared of expressing these experiences. It's a little like being in a tomb.

Last night I came home, and I felt totally exhausted. I found it hard to be light and jokey, or to look at her.

I feel scared that she will say or do something "intrusive", come into my space somehow. It's a really old, deep fear. I guess it's my "amygdala" remembering people coming into my space when I was little.

B