So, I find it really hard to be med compliant. There are many reasons but this is one:

When I'm not fully stable (let's be honest, it's been a while), and I'm still somewhat medicated; I still suffer from the major depressive swings. Yet, the amount of medication I take is just enough to keep me from going too high and also very much limits my time up there. So, I only get so far and I'm an addict to a certain level because it feels so damn good after the depressive swings.