Did your T say you dissociate or have a dissociative disorder?Just curious because everyone dissociates and it's only considered a disorder if it interferes with daily life and functioning.So I'm sure you do dissociate,maybe it's not necessarily DID like you have convinced yourself,but possibly a dissociative disorder nonetheless.Or even if it's not dissociation at all that's causing your problems and just from substances,it's still something major that impacts your life that you deserve to heal from.There's no shame in not having something you have convinced yourself of and no shame if it does turn out to be DID.

Whatever it is,or isn't is really beside the point anyway and all that really matters is putting in the work to get better,and I am glad you are doing that.

And whatever it is or isn't,I sincerely wish you well.